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Twitter users are having a field day hilariously editing Comey’s prepared remarks for Congress

AP Photo/Manuel Balce Ceneta

James Comey.

The Senate Intelligence Committee posted ousted FBI Director James Comey’s prepared opening remarks Wednesday afternoon ahead of his scheduled hearing on Thursday, and some Twitter users immediately started having some fun.

The seven-page document details Comey’s interactions with Donald Trump from January until the president fired him in May.

Throughout the remarks, Comey uses colorful language to describe his in-person meetings and phone calls with Trump.

Enjoy:

First of all, here are Comey’s actual prepared remarks:

James Comey Prepared Senate Testimony June 8 by Rebecca Harrington on Scribd

Now you can see what Twitter users turned them into:

DC’S HOTTEST READ IS THE COMEY STATEMENT http://pic.twitter.com/DCesWU1tg1

— Ellie Hall (@ellievhall) June 7, 2017

“he wanted loyalty but all I could promise was honesty” -james comey http://pic.twitter.com/dHW6rsuESQ

— Ziwe (@ziwe) June 7, 2017

Wow powerful stuff from Comey’s statement. http://pic.twitter.com/5ziLdO53zY

— Aaron Mehta (@AaronMehta) June 7, 2017

You just KNOW Comey typed this out on a vintage typewriter with a cigarette hanging out the side of his mouth.

— Saeed Jones (@theferocity) June 7, 2017

the part of the testimony where trump and comey kiss is weirdly sorta beautiful

— eve peyser (@evepeyser) June 7, 2017

Trump: I want a milkshake.

Comey: I can give you a banana.

Trump: That’s what I want—a banana milkshake.

— Matt Fuller (@MEPFuller) June 7, 2017

Is this real, or did did Comey accidentally cut and paste this exchange in from the script of a mob movie? http://pic.twitter.com/YR1QUtlMG0

— Jonathan Chait (@jonathanchait) June 7, 2017

Comey’s opening statement sounds like a Tinder horror story. http://pic.twitter.com/Umrjhmj0kS

— Kelly Weill (@KELLYWEILL) June 7, 2017

All right, this part of the testimony is a little weird. http://pic.twitter.com/r5Ys7id5E1

— Jessie (@NicCageMatch) June 7, 2017

“I didn’t move, speak, or change my facial expression in any way. We simply looked at each other.” #Comey http://pic.twitter.com/xmML0wMvLh

— ThugLifeSocial (@ThugLifeSocial) June 7, 2017

That was the last time I talked to Mr. Trump. http://pic.twitter.com/QcSPFeD8Vd

— Kate H. Taylor (@Kate_H_Taylor) June 7, 2017

Read more stories on Business Insider, Malaysian edition of the world’s fastest-growing business and technology news website.

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AP Photo/Manuel Balce Ceneta

James Comey.

The seven-page document details Comey’s interactions with Donald Trump from January until the president fired him in May.

Throughout the remarks, Comey uses colorful language to describe his in-person meetings and phone calls with Trump.

Enjoy:

First of all, here are Comey’s actual prepared remarks:

James Comey Prepared Senate Testimony June 8 by Rebecca Harrington on Scribd

Now you can see what Twitter users turned them into:

DC’S HOTTEST READ IS THE COMEY STATEMENT http://pic.twitter.com/DCesWU1tg1

— Ellie Hall (@ellievhall) June 7, 2017

“he wanted loyalty but all I could promise was honesty” -james comey http://pic.twitter.com/dHW6rsuESQ

— Ziwe (@ziwe) June 7, 2017

Wow powerful stuff from Comey’s statement. http://pic.twitter.com/5ziLdO53zY

— Aaron Mehta (@AaronMehta) June 7, 2017

You just KNOW Comey typed this out on a vintage typewriter with a cigarette hanging out the side of his mouth.

— Saeed Jones (@theferocity) June 7, 2017

the part of the

testimony where trump and comey kiss is weirdly sorta beautiful

— eve peyser (@evepeyser) June 7, 2017

Trump: I want a milkshake.

Comey: I can give you a banana.

Trump: That’s what I want—a banana milkshake.

— Matt Fuller (@MEPFuller) June 7, 2017

Is this real, or did did Comey accidentally cut and paste this exchange in from the script of a mob movie? http://pic.twitter.com/YR1QUtlMG0

— Jonathan Chait (@jonathanchait) June 7, 2017

Comey’s opening statement sounds like a Tinder horror story. http://pic.twitter.com/Umrjhmj0kS

— Kelly Weill (@KELLYWEILL) June 7, 2017

All right, this part of the testimony is a little weird. http://pic.twitter.com/r5Ys7id5E1

— Jessie (@NicCageMatch) June 7, 2017

“I didn’t move, speak, or change my facial expression in any way. We simply looked at each other.” #Comey http://pic.twitter.com/xmML0wMvLh

— ThugLifeSocial (@ThugLifeSocial) June 7, 2017

That was the last time I talked to Mr. Trump. http://pic.twitter.com/QcSPFeD8Vd

— Kate H. Taylor (@Kate_H_Taylor) June 7, 2017

Read more stories on Business Insider, Malaysian edition of the world’s fastest-growing business and technology news website.

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Twitter users are having a field day hilariously editing Comey’s prepared remarks for Congress

Twitter users are having a field day hilariously editing Comey’s prepared remarks for Congress

First of all, here are Comey’s actual prepared remarks:

Now you can see what Twitter users turned them into:

First of all, here are Comey’s actual prepared remarks:

Now you can see what Twitter users turned them into:

dengan itu Perkara Twitter users are having a field day hilariously editing Comey’s prepared remarks for Congress

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Twitter users are having a field day hilariously editing Comey’s prepared remarks for Congress

First of all, here are Comey’s actual prepared remarks:

Now you can see what Twitter users turned them into:

First of all, here are Comey’s actual prepared remarks:

Now you can see what Twitter users turned them into:

dengan itu Perkara Twitter users are having a field day hilariously editing Comey’s prepared remarks for Congress

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